If there is one thing I learned in my eight years of waiting tables, it is that, when it comes to cooking a steak, the vast majority of restaurant-goers thinks that there is some sort of magical temperature in between medium well and well. And if there is a second thing I learned, it is that Valentine’s Day is, quite possibly, the most dined-out night of the year.
While most people will spend this night waiting in a lobby full of impatient couples and nervous husbands who had forgotten to make reservations, some will spend it quietly at home. Perhaps they could not afford the restaurant’s consolidated yet lavishly priced “special” menu, or they could not find a babysitter, or maybe the preferred alternative is, quite simply, dinner at home - either made from scratch or Chinese takeout - with a bottle of wine and a movie.
And while February 14th can serve as a celebration of the love that exists between two people, for the rest of us it merely marks the midway point of the shortest month of the year. According to those statistics gathered by the U.S. Census Bureau and on which e-Harmony survives, nearly half of the adult population will be spending the forty-fifth day of the year free from the pressures of this Hallmark holiday.
Regardless of what the relationship status on your Facebook profile indicates, you may find yourself on the couch browsing through the Netflix library or standing outside the nearest convenient store in front of the Redbox machine sifting through its available options. If you are like most people today, you may be in the mood for a movie centered around the theme of “love.”
Just like love, movies based on it can come in all different forms. Granted, most of them come in the form of the cliched, formulaic romantic comedy which contains more sap than a ninety-foot tall sugar maple tree. However, there are many that take a different approach and provide a more real - like "seven strangers picked to live in a house and have their lives taped" real - look at love and the joys and pains that come with it.
Below is a glimpse at the assortment of stories and styles that, in my humble opinion, best depict what this day - and the emotion it evokes - is all about. So feel free to check out my list before you and your friends watch Sex and the City, or you watch Bridget Jones with Ben & Jerry for the eighteenth time, or your girlfriend decides that the two of you are spending the night with the ensemble cast of Valentine’s Day (what is that expression about too many cooks in the kitchen spoiling a movie?).
It has been said that every love story has already been told and what separates the good from the Gigli is in how that story is told. Any script worth the screenwriting computer software with which it was written will include a protagonist and an antagonist. There is always an obstacle, whether in physical, spiritual, or psychological form, that the protagonist - the hero - must overcome.
In some stories, there is the sociological obstacle that is formed when "opposites attract." This is when a guy and a girl from different backgrounds, age groups, or classes find that, despite their differences there is a physical or emotional attraction that cannot be ignored. Of course, there is always a parent, friend, or boyfriend that tries to "talk some sense" into one of them.
Examples: Dirty Dancing. Say Anything. The Princess Bride. The Notebook. Manhattan. Titanic.My favorite: Rocky
It's hard to find a better story about two polar opposites being brought together by fate - that is if fate were your alcoholic friend that works at a meat-packing plant and has a recluse of a sister that he is wanting to set you up with. When the street-educated club fighter from Philly serenades the shy, Plain Jane hiding behind her cat-eyed glasses and silly wool knit cap, it is pure magic. In fact, in the opening moments of the equally fantastic sequel, in the most romantic marriage proposal ever caught on film, Rocky turns to Adrian and past his silver tongue roll the words, "I was wonderin' if, uh, you wouldn't mind marryin' me very much." Hauntingly romantic, I know.
Another obstacle that stands in the way is more of an emotional barrier. Rather than the object of one's affection being unavailable because they are already in a relationship, they are unavailable because they are unready or unwilling to be in any relationship. They are usually in the form of the misogynistic playboy, or the free-spirited, independent woman.
Whether it was their upbringing, a previous relationship, or pure choice, they always makes it quite clear from the beginning that they are not looking for anything serious. Of course, there is always a lesson learned or moment of clarity during which their emotional barricade comes crumbling down faster than the Berlin Wall.
Examples: Alfie. Hitch. Jerry Maguire. Pride & Prejudice
My favorite: Vanilla Sky
To those who have seen, but did not understand, this movie, I ask that you not confuse the phrase, "I didn't get it," with the phrase, "I didn't like it," or, "It was stupid." Aside from a great soundtrack and clever storyline (I know Obre los ojos did it first), there were many singular moments in this movie that I found to be brilliant.
Not the least of which is the pure and honest moment shared between Tom Cruise's playboy, magazine mogul character and the internationally lovely Penelope Cruz the night before his life comes crashing down (literally).
Sometimes the biggest hurdle is that which is created by time. In some cases it is a lack of time while in others, too much of it has passed. As the song suggests, waiting is definitely the hardest part.
Examples: The Time Traveler's Wife. The Lake House. Slumdog Millionnaire. Atonement. My favorite: Casablanca
Argued by many as the second-best movie of all-time behind Citizen Kane, I have no qualms with putting this Bogart-Bergman classic in the top spot. Reunited with a lover from his past, Rick must ultimately choose whether or not to leave that past behind him. The decision plays out in one of the more quotable scenes in movie history.
The most-used obstacle in love on film which needs no elaborate introduction or explanation, is that of the infamous "Friend zone." While it may seem like an insurmountable chasm to climb out of, it can be, and has been done.
Examples: No Strings Attached. Friends With Benefits. Just Friends. Friends with Kids. Chasing Amy
My favorite: When Harry Met Sally
The ultimate case study in the "can friends become more than just friends" debate. As much as a movie so laden in such horrible 1980's clothing styles can be considered timeless, this one is just that. Regardless of the era in which it is viewed, the basic principles remain the same. Can men and women simply be "just friends"? And once friends, can they ever go beyond that into something more intimate? The one question that remains a mystery to me is how was Meg Ryan believably attracted to Billy Crystal? Ah,the magic of movies.
Of course, many love stories, in summation, begin with the phrase, "Boy meets girl . . ." And while that is the case with many of them, I always enjoy the ones whose central focus throughout the story is the actual act of the boy meeting the girl.
Examples: Once. Garden State
My favorite: Before Sunrise
One of the simplest movies I have ever seen and it is in that simplicity in which its genius is born. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy walking around on screen for one hundred minutes talking about nothing and, at the same time, everything. We are introduced to the characters at the same time they are introducing themselves to each other, creating a special bond that you don't always get with the characters in a movie.
Of course, this movie can also be placed in the "time is of the essence" category. It also spawned a sequel nine years later in which the same characters are reunited. I was also thrilled to recently learn that there will be a third installment released in theaters later this year.
"Love Stinks." "Love Hurts." "Love is a Battlefield." Just as there have been songs written about the pitfalls of love, there have been many movies with a similar premise. To enjoy a story chronicling the negative effects of emotionally and physically opening up one's self to another is not to condemn the act altogether.
In fact, in most of the films that explore the "dark side", the feeling one is left with is not of loathsome self-doubt, but of hope. Hope that, while this particular story, or chapter in your life has come to an end, like the Phoenix from the ashes, love will rise again. After all, what truly matters is not who you've been with, but who you end up with.
Examples: Ghost. Like Crazy. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Closer. The Break-Up. Annie Hall My Favorite: (500) Days of Summer
Despite the introductory warning of the narrator that "this is not a love story," it still possesses all the basic elements of the "boy meets girl" story. Through the creative use of a scattered timeline of events we experience all the highs and lows of a relationship and its aftermath.
A personal favorite scene utilizes a split screen to illustrate the difference between what we want and what we get. And while it may not have the typical ending of a love story, it still leaves you feeling hopeful for the future.
In full disclosure, despite my earlier sarcastic references to Bridget Jones' Diary and Valentine's Day I do acknowledge that, sometimes, it's okay to enjoy a romantic comedy, or musical, or even a movie with a cast list longer than Schindler's. For those looking for the lighter side of love on film, these can all be just as enjoyable.
Examples: Knocked Up. 50 First Dates. The Wedding Singer. She's Out of My League. Date Night. Moulin Rouge. The Phantom of the Opera. He's Just Not That Into You. Love, Actually. New York, I Love You. Paris, je t'aime.
My favorite: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Simply hilarious. 'nuff said.
If there is one thing you take away from all this I hope that it is this: Regardless of whether you are spending Valentine's Day with your spouse, your significant other, your cats, your single friends, or that chip on your shoulder, there is a movie out there waiting to be enjoyed by you.
And if there are two things you take away from this, I hope the second one is this: A medium-well done steak has a slightly pink center. A well done steak has no trace of pink and will tend to be a bit dry. There is nothing in between these two options, so pick one.
And tip your waiter.
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